And she was gone
Lurking in the darkest alleys;
Hiding from the mornings
And the labyrinth of time and life.
She held on too tight
To the what was left to her –
Memories that fed on her.
She is slowing becoming
What she is afraid of,
Lurking in the dark, alone
Consumed by the fears she bore in her heart.
In the circus of life
We are driven by lust
And the constant need
For consistency in our lives.
With falsity masked by laughter,
We are living amidst
A Never Ending War Of Needs.
When no-one’s watching,
My bruised heart force my fingers
To type your name in the Search bar.
A smile escape
As I try to feel your presence
Through the photographs of you so quiet and still;
Your happy face
Remind me of the warmth I am forbidden to
Since your last call.
I stare at the screen
With what feels like smoking ice cubes
Inside my skull,
But nothing –
Nothing except pitch dark emptiness.
The suppressed hunger awakens
And it churns my soul with the dark matters
I am to avoid.
Seconds circle to minutes
And slowly the venomous emptiness in me
Attempts to strangle my heart
And cause excruciating pain to my existence.
I regret each time
I enforce a sin in my name
By recalling the complete emptiness you caused me
Only to infect myself with dark matters of the past.
The embers of my love for you still burn.
Slow and weak
But not dead.
My silly dangling sunflowers
Furnish no scent to spellbound
The infectious fetish for wild roses and thorns,
Yet the warmth radiated from
It’s bright yellow blossoms
Reincarnate the feel of Summer in the middle of the bitter-cold fall;
It brought the sun to me
When in the dark I was disarrayed and lost –
My silly dangling sunflowers …
Sunbathing against the cold damp wall of my wrecked loft.