As I smoke my cigarette at 2 am
Staring at the sky painted blood red,
All alone witnessing the raging storm
Standing in the veranda of my little apartment –
I imagine the couple next door
Snuggling in their cozy bed
After thirst quenching hours of sex….
And I realise how alone I am.
Single ever since heart broken
Preferring to cover the curves in old Pjs,
Rather than hitting the club
In some gorgeous outfit and trying out life.
Is it a sad life?
Though I am completely satisfied
And at peace with just the way it is,
Or maybe I wouldn’t mind a little game
With some temptation calling for bed.
But I don’t want one night stands…
I want more.
All that more has to offer.
Nonetheless I cannot deny my deepest desire
Craving for someone to lay his hands on me…
Quite a debate it is
And tricky, as I am the sole speaker
Balancing the right and the wrongs.
Caught up in the middle of the white and the black
Waiting for the shade of grey to pop up
Hoping to play with fire
And afraid to burn
I find myself standing at the same threshold
Like years ago.
There is no way out of it without burning my toes.
Maybe some times I need to left alone
With cigarettes at 2 am,
To battle the storm
And figure out the shades I want to try on…
Instead of wearing the tightest dress when I don’t want to wear
And rush to the club for Margaritas and Sex.