I never gave much thought to who I had become.
Seeking pleasure in the backseat of the car
Or be it on the kitchen counter or the staircase
My hunger was satisfied
And maybe that was all my growing body needed.
But not until i met him.
He promised to not just fill me
But fill me with all the love and emotion I was deprived of.
He treated me like I always wanted to be.
Five six seven,
And then he fucked me
And dropped me home and never returned.
I called his name in my sleep
Shit, I was in love with him.
Dark past forging my present…
Could I allow the hollowness take me again?
No, I did not want to be lost.
I chose to be a pleasure seeker once again
For love was certainly not my cup of tea.
His friend wanted to fill in his place
And without a second thought I allowed him to.
He touched me
And I touched him back
He moaned for more
He spanked me hard
But I felt nothing,
Except all hollow inside.
What had happened to me?
Was it not all I needed?
And then I heard a voice screaming
It said I had had enough.
I was not a pleasure seeker
I was in dire need of love.
I pushed him and ran away from that path
He shouted back at me
And slapped me hard.
“My brother did right to you
You are just a hole to be fucked.
A pimp is all you are
Fuck off you bitch
Get off my yard.”
I cried that night,
I braced my fallen self and cried hard.