Toneless  beats of life 

No, I don’t mind here without you,

Long gone is the phase of depression dissatisfaction and stillness.

No more do I smell of alcohol and smokes all the time, 

I go out for movies, 

For walks in the park

And wherever life takes me along. 
I click pictures of me nowadays,

I have re-opended my instagram and WordPress.

Quite happy I am knowing the fact 

That I survived your migration from my life. 

Life is better this way, 

I have learnt so many truths

That used to mock me from behind,

And deeply lost in your love 

I failed to look back and notice. 
Anyway, now things are fine.

I don’t spend nights grieving you,

I don’t lock myself during the daylight. 

But flashbacks? 

I couldn’t let go of them. 

But yes, 

I learnt to control my actions, reactions and decisions. 
But every time I visit the places 

We used to go together, 

Or go out for dinners at your favourite restaurant, 

I sneak for you.

I look around for a glimpse,

Though I don’t want to face you

Because I will have nothing to say. 

Even today I check the list of people online, 

To read your name.

I wait for you to see my posts, 

Read them. 
And I don’t want to confess the rock-hard  truth, 

But I guess I am still standing on the threshold

Smelling of alcohol and smokes… 

Only with fresh clothes, make up and perfume this time.

Does it alter my miserable distorted shape?

Maybe for the World it might be a yes, 

But life for me is still the same-

Downhearted and insubstantial.

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11 thoughts on “Toneless  beats of life 

  1. Have to learn how to love own self first.. Improving always appreciate its’ owner. Just be yourself. Life is you and you are the life. Lead your life as a leader, as a liver not as a survivor. 😊

    Like

  2. It is rightly said that ” Time is the best healer”. I agree that it’s hard to jst get rid of people completely who were once the closest. Bt that’s life. U have come alone and u shall go alone. Life is similar to a train journey u get down at various stations meet people, occupy some time untill the time arrives of ur departure from that station. People walk in and out of your life to facilitate you ti reach your goals. It’s better to let people go bcs they will only be hindrance in ur way to greatness. Learn to live and give life another chance bt not those people who left u…

    Liked by 1 person

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